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Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

Description

Philip Miller and Molly Devon think that S/M is fun, and "that reading about it should be fun, too." Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is definitely fun, not to mention approachable, chatty, and insightful. What makes it truly special, however, is the sheer weight of loving details. There's clear explanations and detailed tutorials for beginners, as general as "safe, sane, and consensual" and as specific as "you will be swinging the whip with your arm pivoting at the shoulder." There's also solid advice, safety measures, steamy suggestions, plenty of black-and-white photographs, useful and humorous drawings, an extensive glossary, and over 900 entries of S/M clothing and equipment vendors, publications, computer bulletin boards, and organizations worldwide. As sadomasochism is a practice that's still taboo for many people, the chapter on finding partners and sharing your fantasies with existing partners can be invaluable.

Screw the Roses enthusiastically covers all the basics and even some of the not-so-basics--bondage, negotiation, sex, endorphins, dominance and submission, toys, safety, S/M community, and beyond. It's written primarily from the point of view of male dominant/female submissive interactions, but it's easily translatable into valuable advice for any relationship configuration. Miller and Devon's explanations of not just the how, but also the why, of sadomasochism are honest, sexy, funny--and a must-have for anyone who wants to learn about sadism, masochism, dominance, submission, or bondage. --Cheryl Trooskin

Reviews

Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2010-07-12
Summary: "(this book is one of the best BDSM stater books)"

(this book is one of the best BDSM stater books) I thank you with how fast I received the book ,its in new condition also reading has opened many conversations between boyfriend and I.
CeasonlySu thanks you

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Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2010-06-16
Summary: "Excellent for beginners, fun read for more seasoned"

What makes this book stand out, apart from its comprehensiveness, is the unintimidating tone and presentation of the topic. Of particular value is the care taken to explain the value of a psychologically sound approach to S/M, and how to work out a stable framework in which the depth and boundaries of this sexual practice can safely be explored. This integrated mind-body perspective is invaluable in S/M, and the authors are to be gratulated for keeping it firmly in mind throughout the book, always pointing to it in an accessible way. They also do a great job of identifying what to watch out for when getting in touch with others in the scene. Having emphasized my appreciation for the psychological value of this boo, I would like to say that this book does contain enough hands-on instructions and material to keep most folks busy for years (it even includes suggested contracts & questionnaires). Miller & Devon's enthusiasm is immediate in the text, and quite contagious!

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Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2010-05-13
Summary: "What an amazing eye opener!"

To truly get into the mind of those who enjoy this type of activity, this is a must read. This is not ways to do things but interviews with those involved and a deep look at the mental aspect of the acts. Do you think you know what true Domination or Submission is? This may open your eyes and expand your horizons.

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Rating: 2 / 5
Date: 2010-05-10
Summary: "SM and feminism"

Mainstream feminism has historically and at length viewed SM as the business-as-usual relationship between females and heterosexual males for the last half century. I am surprised that no one among these reviewers noted that the whole notion of "consensual" domination is a contradiction in terms as far as feminism is concerned. On the contrary, all heterosexual sex is either rape or sexual harassment, and is in any case always non-consensual, whatever the dominated female may say. When west coast SM lesbian lovers published a book in the 1970s detailing anecdotal accounts of their SM relationships, feminists countered with a book which insisted that such relations were (1) normal and universal among females and heterosexual males; (2) feminism existed fundamentally to eradicate such behavior; (3) no woman could possibly submit to male domination; (4) the Marquis de Sade was the founder of these practices (historically untrue, of course); (5) finally, no SM female could be a feminist and every heterosexual male was a sadist.

The remarkable thing in all this debate is the admission by feminists--played out in the massive feminist literature aimed at both the population at large and in women's studies courses and their textbooks since the middle 1970s--that SM relations are in fact the fundamental characteristic of all human heterosexual male-female relationships from the dawn of human history. And most important, there is no female who can willingly accept such domination. One consequence is the feminist notion that all heterosexual intercourse is rape, because it is always nonconsensual, and exists for no other reason that to enslave women to male domination.

The most important book on this subject is Catharine MacKinnon's "Sexual Harassment of Working Women," 1979, which is the foundation of all anti-sexual harassment legislation both federal and local, and which asserts precisely the same thing: all heterosexual males have one relationship with women, which is one of domination--political as well as personal--which is characterized by nothing other than SM. This means that the whole of sexual harassment jurisprudence, statutes, and regulations throughout the US are founded on the notion that that all sexual relations between males and females are fundamentally sadomasochistic. The constitutional and jurisprudential consequences of such law for its treatment of heterosexual males have yet to be even broached publically in this country, but once broached would unmask feminist law-making as fundamental violations of the first, fifth, and fourteen amengments, not least the 1st amendment protection against bills of attainder.

The fight the feminists started in the 1970s has yet to reach the battlefield and be fought out.

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Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2010-03-22
Summary: "Education for a new lifestyle"

This book is a compilation of one person's view of the BDSM alternative lifestyle. It is not for everyone and those that seek more knowledge concerning the lifestyle will benefit from reading this work.

I found it written in an informal manner which makes it even more personal. The views expressed are noted as personal and not to be taken as the last word but as a guide to further exploration.

I highly recommend this work to anyone who truly seeks the knowledge of those who have gone before us.